Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that is often used by psychopaths and narcissists.
It is often referred as the use of distraction or deflection to hide the truth from someone or diminish them. When someone does something wrong instead of owning up to what they did wrong, they instead flip the blame on you. In some cases, you may not even know the wrongdoings they have done. In case of relationships, you could see a partner who cheats accusing their significant other of cheating which is a lie.
This tactic can be seen in any type of relationship, whether it is romantic or not. From the ones you have with friends and family members to co-workers and then to the general public.
You see, the manipulation that corrupt politicians and world leaders practice can also be put in the same box.
This is something that you have to be aware of at all times.
And this is because gaslighting is often the game of the mind. The practice itself has to do with making the victim question if they really went through what they went through. This makes the victims think that they are crazy as they don’t understand what is real or not.
If the victim is unaware of what is going on, then they leave their minds open to more manipulation.
Which leaves the victim believing the ‘reality’ the manipulator gives them. This systematically dissolves any effort made by the victim to intelligently make sense of his/her situation or surroundings and act accordingly.
This is more than telling a lie. You could always recover from the pain of deceit, knowing that you now know the truth.
But the recovery process of someone who has been gaslighted is much more painful and tough. And that is why a lot of victims of gaslighting don’t recover at all.
They have to build their reality from scratch. But don’t worry, in this article we would be giving you tips on how to overcome that.
Now, to set yourself free from gaslighting, you have to first acknowledge that it is there. And the only way to do that is to look for signs that it is used on you.
Some of these signs include someone telling you something but then goes on to say that he/she didn’t say that at all.
But you have to be careful here especially if your only proof of the said comment or statement is your memory. As much as you have a strong conviction about what you heard, the human memory can be easily manipulated or distorted.
This becomes a real issue when you have solid proof of evidence that that person really denies something they said or did previously.
Another telltale sign that you are being manipulated is that someone is using people or things that are dear to you to make you do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise.
Now, once you have noticed that this is what is going on, you should swing into action.
Begin to take steps to strengthen yourself both mentally and emotionally.
And one way of doing this is using a technique called greenlighting.
This was a technique that was developed in the 1990s by a spiritual school called ‘Waking Down in Mutuality.’
This was inspired by the movie industry. In Hollywood, when a movie is presented to potential investors, the presenters are looking for approval. Once that is given, then they have the greenlight to go on with the project.
It is a simple technique. When one is dealing with the wounds of manipulation and emotional trauma, they fail to move on.
Instead, they get even more entangled with the pain and suffering they are going through — which is exactly what the manipulator wants.
Greenlighting is really about allowing yourself to move on. And that could mean forgiving yourself and not hating yourself for being manipulated. It isn’t your fault.
Be vulnerable enough to ask for help. Your friends and family are willing to help only if you ask them. And even if you have none, to a stranger or strangers till you get help. A stranger is just another human being you haven’t met.
Be determined to push through and with time all wounds — including this one.